The Screwed Up Trilogy
by Kreliana and Alhazred
Summary: Pan and Goten spend the night at the Briefs' house, and Master Roshi has a kegger. Uh oh. Rated R for massive and absurd innuendo.
1. How Bulma and Vegeta Started it All

  
SEX: How Bulma and Vegeta started it all...

By Alhazred and Kreliana

Disclaimer: We do not own DBZ

Note: This makes no sense.  Don't try to make any out of it.  This takes place after GT.

One day, Goten and Pan were flying. But they weren't flying just anywhere. They were flying to the Brief's house to meet their pals Trunks and Bra. Goten and Pan were spending the night, then Goten and Trunks would train a bit in the morning, while Pan and Bra would do girl stuff, the usual.

But sometimes... it can be hazardous to be a hormonal teenager.

Pan: Talk to you later, Uncle Goten. ::runs off to hang out with Bra, Goten goes to hang out with Trunks::

GOTEN: Wow, Bra looks hot…

TRUNKS: Goten! WHAT'D you say about my sister?!  
GOTEN: ::Thinking- oops, I said that out loud!:: Well, look! She's… wearing a sweater!

TRUNKS: …oh.

Later that night, Vegeta and Bulma have an incredible evening together.  
  


VEGETA: Bulma, I love you. I'll love you until the day I die.  
::Vegeta wakes up.:: AHH! Oh it was a dream... ::goes back to sleep ::   
BULMA: Mmm, dreaming you said it again honey?  
VEGETA: Go back to sleep.  
BULMA: Yep, definitely that dream... ::Snuggles::  
VEGETA: ::Sweatdrop::

::A few minutes later::  
VEGETA: I can't sleep.  
BULMA: let me help you.  ::Lemon scene begins ::

::BRA walks into her big brother's room:: TRUNKS! TRUNKS! I think Mom's hurting daddy!  
TRUNKS: How in the Supreme Kai's name could MOM hurt DAD!

Bra: Really, Trunks, she is.

TRUNKS:  ::sweatdrops :: They're uhhh, just uhhh fooling around (why'd I USE THAT PHRASE,) go back to bed, Bra.  
BRA: But daddy keeps making groaning noises.  
TRUNKS: AAAAAAAAAAAAH GO BACK TO BED NOW!

  
BRA: ::Slowly opens parents door:: ...ew. Like, what ARE they doing?

TRUNKS: Information NOT needed!  
  


::VEGETA goes SSJ right before he ummm yeahs ::  
BULMA: Now, are you all tuckered out? That was quite a workout.  
VEGETA: ZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzz

  
TRUNKS: Does he HAVE to do thaaaaat... ::Slams pillow over head attempting to blot out the sounds and energy sense:: Why can't I have a normal life?

  
BRA:  ::Still in her parents room :: Daddy, why'd you go SSJ ontop of mom?

BULMA AND VEGETA: ::Scream!::

  
GOTEN: ::Wakes up, groggily:: Hey Trunks, what was that noise?

TRUNKS: Please don't ask, Goten.

GOTEN: ::Cheery:: Okay! ::Goes back to bed::  
  


VEGETA: Oh, I was just... um... your mother was using me for light so she could see to... to... Bulma, little. Help. Here.  
BULMA: Umm... I needed to fix my top! ::Pulls on top in an idiotic way::  
BRA: Ok, mom. Umm, I had a bad dream, can I sleep with you guys tonight?  
VEGETA: NO BRAT, GO BACK TO BED!  Go sleep with your brother and Kakarott's kid!  
BRA:  ::thinking:: Sleep with Goten. Tee hee hee.  
BULMA: Yeah, um... they're even stronger then your father, THEY'LL keep you safe!  
VEGETA: EXCUSE me?

  
 ::Bra snuggles next to Goten, who protects her for the rest of the night ::  
  


Next morning...  
TRUNKS: ::Wakes up and sees them close, goes SSJ:: GOTEN! DID YOU SLEEP WITH MY SISTER!?

GOTEN: She had a bad dream!  
BRA: Goten made it a wet, I mean, good dream!

TRUNKS: ooooh, okay. Let's go wake up Mom & Dad.  
  


TRUNKS:  ::Walks down the hall:: What next.  ::He goes into Bra's room and finds Pan in there. Sleeping like a beautiful angel:: Hell no.  ::leaves :: I'll give her to Dad before I'll have that... ::Trunks goes into his parents' room. They kinda flung the sheets off during the night, exposing themselves :: AAAAAH, I'M BLIND! I CAN'T SEE

VEGETA: ::Completely oblivious:: It's SIX O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING! ::Starts throwing Ki blasts::  
BULMA: ::Also oblivious:: Mmm, yes it is, plenty of time for more fun before the kids get up... ::Grabs him::  
TRUNKS: ::Goes into cardiac arrest::  
  


BRA: Since Trunks is away, Goten..... ::Goten takes the hint ::  
  


TRUNKS: ::Stumbles back into his room:: Hey Goten, my Mom & Dad are AAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ::Trunks stumbles into Bra's room. Pan wakes up ::  
PAN: Trunks, you ok?  
TRUNKS: Your uncle, my sister......my parents....uuuuugh  
PAN:  ::shudders :: Well it could be worse. Ever see what your fans do to you and Goten?  
  


::In Trunks' Room :: BRA: Hey Goten, I can't believe TRUNKS thought I didn't know what mom and dad were doing.

GOTEN: ...hey, what WERE they doing? I went back to sleep!

BRA: They were  ::whisper whisper whisper ::  
GOTEN:  ::is pale white ::

::Back in Bra's room::  
TRUNKS: You also see what they do to us.  ::He looks at her, she looks at him. "Love is in the Air" plays ::

PAN: ::In TRUNKS fashion:: Oh hell no. ::Music abruptly stops.::  (I'm still waiting for Vegeta to get done with Bulma) ::Evil grin, fake, fake voice that Trunks doesn't catch:: Besides, I like what they do to you and Goten better.  
TRUNKS: Pan, you're disgusting. That's your UNCLE.  
PAN: Oh drat, I forgot about that. ::Needs to get rid of him so she can kick out Bulma and get Vegeta:: Err, I meant, I like what they do to you and PICCOLO! Yeah, that's it!  
TRUNKS: X_X PICCOLO! AAAAAAAH  ::runs out screaming. feints, and Bulma helps him to another room. Vegeta flies into Bra's room and lands on top of Pan. ::  
PAN: Took you long enough.  
::They do things even Kami is too young to see ::

Later that morning, everyone got ready to go to the Kame house for a party Master Roshi was having later that evening.  A very alcoholic party.  When they got there King Kai was having coffee with the Supreme Kai.

::Everyone tumbles through the door at once::  
SKai: It's going to be one of those days. ::sniff:: You all smell like fornication.  
KKai: Yuck, go take a shower.

::They all think it's a good idea ::  
SKai: Take them one at a time, not together.  ::They all moan in disappointment :: This is definitely one of those days.  
  


 PAN: ::Finds Piccolo on the balcony:: Psst, hey Piccolo, I need to distract Bulma, so I need Trunks to get her attention. Think you could hit on him?

Trunks: Hey guys, Pan says I've been paired with Piccolo in lemon fics.  Is that true?

VEGETA:  ::smacks TRUNKS :: DID WE REALLY NEED THAT MENTAL PICTURE?  
TRUNKS: About as much as I needed to walk into your room and see you and mom naked!

VEGETA: ::Entire body turns red::  
SKAI: ...gross. Image, image!

::Bulma runs out in embarrassment ::

VEGETA: ::Sigh, runs after::

SKai:  ::Thinking :: Hmmmm, Bulma naked wouldn't be so bad, but why'd he have to bring in VEGETA?  
  


PAN: Piccolooooo! Go do it NOW before Bulma's too far away!

PICCOLO:  ::TRUNKS style :: Hell no.

PAN: Okay... need someone else... hey Mr. Shin!

SKai: Hmmm, she's kinda cute.  
KKai: WHAAAAAAAT??????  
SKai: Come with me, my dear.   
PAN: Oh ^_^  ::blushes::

SHIN: Just because I'm the Supreme Kai doesn't mean I have ice in my veins, you know.

KKai: Oh gross, Shin's older than dirt and he's going after a 17-year-old

SKai: Meanwhile, King Kai hasn't gotten ANY in 17 THOUSAND years... and even then it was his first time.  
TRUNKS:: Doubles over laughing::  
GOTEN: ::Scratches head:: The supreme beings of the universe are sick disgusting perverts!

SKai: I take offense to that.  
::Shin goes off with PAN ::  
::They don't come out::  
GOTEN: ...well it's true!  
SEVERAL OTHERS: Goten, would you please stop insulting the SU-FUCKING-PREME KAI?!  
 

Narrator:  And so, the new day rolled on at the Kame House, with most everybody deciding to come to Master Roshi's boozefest. What will happen as a result of this? Who's going to have too much liquor? Find out NEXT time on ::Dramatic echo:: DRAGONBALL Z!

NEXT: The Morning After, who wake up with who?****


	2. Who Wakes Up With Who?

SEX: The Morning After: Who Wakes up with Who?

By Alhazred and Kreliana

NARRATOR: Last time on Dragonball Z: With Goten and Pan staying over, Vegeta and Bulma accidentally instigated a romp of sex and innuendo throughout the Brief residence, the "incident" even spilling over to Master Roshi's place after everyone arrived for his impending Keg party. 

Now, with the party over for the night and everyone about to wake up in the morning, how will the free-flowing alcohol have influenced today's events? Find out today on DRAGONBALL Z!

VIDEL: ::Stirs, feels arms around her:: Mmm... musta been some night. Hey Gohan, when'd you get so buff?

GOKU: Some night is an understa... wait. Gohan? Chichi, what's gotten into you?  
VIDEL: ::Eyes shoot open:: CHICHI?! ::Jumps out of bed:: Goku?!

GOKU: Videl? Uh oh. I think we had too much to drink last night.  
::Goku and Videl turn around to get dressed::

!-- (9:59:53 PM)--VIDEL: My heeeeeeead....  
VIDEL: Here are your pants, Goku.  
GOKU: Here's your shirt.

VIDEL: ...what did we do last night?  
::They start getting the rest of their clothing when Chichi screams::  
!-- (10:01:53 PM)--GOKU: I have no clue what we did, but we better go check on ChiChi.  
!-- (10:02:12 PM)--::As they near ChiChi's scream, they hear Vegeta moaning in pain::  
!-- (10:02:30 PM)--

CHICHI: ::Screams more::  
VEGETA: I woke up with KAKAROTT'S MATE!

CHICHI: I slept with....!  
GOKU: ::Walks in:: Oh, hi Chichi! ::Smiles in that Goku way::  
::Vegeta continues puking::

CHICHI: Oh Goku! ::runs to him:: That pervert took advantage of me while I was drunk!  
VEGETA: I took advantage of YOU!? ::puke::  
!-- (10:05:30 PM)--CHICHI: I just said that!  
VEGETA: I was being sarcastic!  
VIDEL: Oh that's okay, I slept with Goku... ::slaps hands over mouth::  
GOKU: ::Dies::

::From a distance:: GOHAN: MR. PICCOLO, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?!?!?!?!?  
VIDEL: What next?  
!-- (10:08:10 PM)--VIDEL: ::Runs into Gohan's room and falls on her face at the sight::  
PICCOLO: ::Lamely:: ...why am I naked?  
!-- (10:08:42 PM)--PICCOLO: And why are YOU naked?  
::Chichi walks in and faints. Vegeta walks in after Chichi faints:: VEGETA: BWAHAHAHA! I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.  
!-- (10:10:15 PM)--PICCOLO: What, you finally slept with Chichi?  
::Chichi screams::  
PICCOLO: I was right, wasn't I?  
GOHAN: Moooooooom?!  
VEGETA: Don't remind me. Urk.  
!-- (10:11:39 PM)--GOHAN: Mom! How COULD you!  
CHICHI: Me?! How could YOU?!  
GOHAN: ::Looks at Piccolo and blushes something fierce::  
::Bra stumbles into the hallway crying::  
CHICHI: Oh great, who did you do? ::King Kai struts out::  
BRA: Uggggh, him.  
!-- (10:13:04 PM)--::Shin walks out with Pan::

KKai: HA! I got LAID!  
SHIN: And you only had to get her drunk to do it.!-- (10:15:24 PM)--

::Meanwhile::  
VEGETA: ::Tosses Gohan's clothes at him:: Get DRESSED already, I don't want to see naked Kakarott spawn lying around here!  
VIDEL: Well at least he didn't get anyone pregnant...  
GOKU: Let's just hope YOU'RE not pregnant, Videl. ::Slaps hands over mouth again::  
CHICHI: ::Slaps him::  
GOHAN: ...Dad?  
KKAI: Hey, we may have been drunk, but it still happened! Okay, so I... can't remember it, but it happened!

GOHAN: Dad did Videl? ::dies::  
KKai: Now that's just wrong. Hey, Supreme Kai, where are you going with Pan?  
SHIN: Vegas. I think this one's a keeper.  
GOHAN: Oh great, what will our grandkids look like?  
VIDEL: More importantly, how long will they live? WHERE will they live?

!-- (10:18:12 PM)--SHIN: Details, details. We'll be back...  
PAN: Eventually. ::Jumps into Shin's arms::

  
:: From a distance::!-- (10:19:40 PM)--18: WHAT THE HELL?  
GOKU: Now this should be interesting.  
::In 18's room::  
18: You perverted old man! Why are you next to me?  
ROSHI: Heh heh heh, now now, don't be shy.  
EVERYONE: Poor 18!!!  
!-- (10:20:22 PM)--ROSHI: What do you mean, poor 18?! Poor ME! Do ya have any idea how nubile this girl is? Damn near gave this old man a heart attack!

!-- (10:20:48 PM)--EVERYONE: ::dies::  
ROSHI: If I die today, I die a happy man. !-- (10:21:20 PM)--::Gets dressed and prances around all happy::  
18: ...I am SO not getting out of bed. ::Throws covers over head::

::Vegeta looks over into the next room and sees Goten on top of Trunks under the covers::

VEGETA:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA::breath::AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
::!-- (10:22:40 PM)--Trunks and Goten stir::

!-- (10:24:09 PM)--::Vegeta slams the door shut, deciding to gather his sanity first::

  
TRUNKS: ::Groan:: Oh, hey Goten.  
GOTEN: Hi Trunks...  
TRUNKS: ...GOTEN?!?!  
GOTEN: TRUNKS?!  
::They look under the covers and scream::

!-- (10:24:57 PM)--TRUNKS: Goten! You raped me!  
GOTEN: Nuh uh!  YOU raped ME! And you got me drunk to do it!

  
!-- (10:26:12 PM)--::outside::  
GOKU: Vegeta, are you ok?  
VEGETA: My brat, your brat, aaaagh.  
  


!-- (10:26:24 PM)--TRUNKS: ...Goten, you had two beers.  
GOTEN: ::Faceflops:: I get drunk easily! I'm just like Mom!  
TRUNKS: So you were drunk, and I was drunk... that means... ohhh maaaaaan my Dad is gonna killlll meeee...  
GOKU: Huh? But I thought Pan went off with the Supreme Kai...  
!-- (10:27:29 PM)--VEGETA: She DID, you idiot! And she's your GRANDdaughter anyway!

!-- (10:27:35 PM)--CHICHI: WHAT? ::She bursts in, everyone sees Trunks and Goten together::  
!-- (10:27:48 PM)--GOKU: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

TRUNKS: ::Dies::  
GOTEN: ::Pulls covers over head and pretends to disappear::

GOTEN: You can't see me anymore.

!-- (10:30:19 PM)--TRUNKS: ::Pulls covers off of Goten's head:: I suffer, you suffer.  
GOKU: Well, look on the bright side, at least no one's getting pregnant... oh, except maybe for Videl...  
VIDEL: ::Dies::  
ROSHI: Hey, don't forget 18!

18: I'm on birth control.

CHICHI: Well that leaves Pan...  
TRUNKS: Your bright side has flaws, Goku.

  
::In another room, Hercule wakes up::

HERCULE: Why do I have women's panties on my head?  
BULMA: Hey, those are Oolong's.  
HERCULE: Who are you?  
OOLONG: WHERE are my panties?!

  
::Bulma runs out screaming:: VEGETA, WHERE ARE YOU! HERCULE JUST slept with me! ::Sees Videl:!-- (10:33:26 PM)--: Oh, hi Videl.  
VIDEL: ::Dies::  
VEGETA: I'm busy! ::Storms into Goten & Trunks' room and slams the door shut, opens it again, tosses Goten out, and shuts it::

BULMA: ...what's he busy with?  
CHICHI: Don't ask.  
  


OOLONG: Gimmie back my eternal underwear! ::Grabs them off of Hercule's head:: I'm glad these are durable...

::In Las Vegas::

ELVIS: Now, do you, Supreme Kai, take Pan to be your lawfully wedded wife?  
SHIN: Yes, of course.  
ELVIS: Now do you, Pan, take Supreme Kai to be your lawfully wedded wife?  
PAN: Don't you mean husband?  
ELVIS: Ummm, yeah.  
PAN: Yes, I do.  
ELVIS: By the power vested in me, and by the state of Nevada, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride, here are $20 worth the casino chips.  
  


HERCULE: I just wore a PIG's panties on my head. Oh well, I've seen worse…

  
PAN: ::Throws the bouquet over her head and all the way back to the Kame House for someone to catch after it makes the journey there. 

Meanwhile, Vegeta can be heard through the door::  
VEGETA: I CAN'T BELEIVE this! Trunks, How could you SLEEP with KAKAROTT'S kid! ...you and Goten got DRUNK?!  
BULMA: Whaaaat?! ::Glares death at Goten::  
GOTEN: ::Dies:: Uhh... who, me?  
VEGETA: You BETTER have been on top! No son of MINE is going to be submissive to Kakarott's brat!  
GOTEN: ::Turns red::  
HURCULE: Wow, this is a better show then the world tournament!

EVERYONE: ::Dies::  
HERCULE: ...what?  
OOLONG: ::Turns into a baseball bat and konks him::  
OOLONG: How come I didn't get any last night?  
  


HERCULE: Uhhhhh…….What are you talkin' about? I just watched! Uhh, yeah!  
BULMA: ::Looks at Oolong and turns pale::  
OOLONG: ::pales too::  
VEGETA: We'll be having pork roast tonight, everyone.  
::Fries Oolong::  
BULMA: ::Slaps Vegeta:: YOU'RE one to talk, you slept with Chichi!  
!-- (10:47:53 PM)--VEGETA: You had to remind me. ::pukes::

BULMA: Why yes I did.  
GOKU: So let's sort this out: I slept with Videl, Hercule watched Bulma sleep with Oolong, Vegeta slept with my wife, Master Roshi hit it up with 18, The SUPREME KAI is marrying Pan, King Kai got Bra in bed, one of my sons got it on with a Namek, and my other son shagged up Trunks?  
VEGETA: ::Furious:: You're brat was NOT on top, Kakarott!  
GOTEN: ::Inches way out of room::  
18: That about sums it up. Breakfast?  
KRILLIN: I already made that, dear.  
EVERYONE: ::Double take:: KRILLIN?!  
TRUNKS: I'm afraid to ask, but... who did YOU...  
KRILLIN: ::Blushes:: Err, I just got here early morning. Saw all you guys snuggling in bed and I didn't wanna wake you up, heh heh. Although I was in shock to find my WIFE IN BED WITH ROSHI!  
ROSHI: Errr, did I say I slept with 18? Eh heh heh...  
18: Yes, you did.

ROSHI: Dear, you know that's impossible! I was too drunk to take my Viagra.  
EVERYONE: ::Dies::  
GOKU: I'm not hungry anymore.  
CHICHI: That's a first.

KRILLIN: You realize you'll all need to visit the doctor's later. You know, pregnancy tests, STD tests...  
CHICHI: Hey! My sons are NOT diseased! Though I won't speak for Vegeta... I've been ill ever since I woke up.  
VEGETA: You and I both, woman.  
GOTEN: I'll eat!  
GOHAN: Me too!  
TRUNKS: Yeah!  
::They all begin shoveling food::  
GOKU: Well, after the workouts they had, they must be starved! ::Everyone glares:: What?

  
  


NARRATOR: Next time, on Dragonball Z: The entire group piles into a random hospital to make sure their sexual olympics haven't caused anything… permanent, but there, they receive a shock!

DOCTER: Ahem, it seems you haven't had ANY sexual activity recently.

Who didn't do what they think they did? Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!


	3. The Doctor's Office

SEX: The Doctor's Office

By Alhazred and Kreliana

Narrator:  Last time on Dragonball Z, the Z fighters woke up after a night of alcohol, finding themselves next to the wrong person.

ChiChi: I slept with…!

Vegeta: I woke up with Kakarott's mate!

Now that the Kame House has finally had some peace restored, it's time for everyone to go to the doctor's office to see what problems may have arisen from the previous night.  Who did and didn't do what they thought they did?  What happened to Pan and the Supreme Kai?  Find out today on Dragonball Z!

DOC: So, who's first for an examination.  
CHICHI: ME!  
DOC: ::examines, examines, examines:: Ms. ChiChi, I can't seem to find any indication of sexual activity from last night.  
CHICHI: WHAAAAT????? Oh that's wonderful!  
!-- (6:41:30 PM)--CHICHI: Hey, Vegeta, we never did anything last night.  
VEGETA: That's a relief.  
VEGETA: Now I can sleep at night.  
!-- (6:42:30 PM)--BULMA: Hey Veggie-chan, who said anything about sleep?  
VEGETA: Heh heh, not I, my dear. ::whisper:: but don't call me Veggie-chan infront of Kakarott.

VIDEL: I'm next. ::walks into the examining room::  
  


(Outside)

GOKU: VEGGIE-chan?  
VEGETA: ::Dies::

VIDEL: ::walking out of the examining room:: Oh what a relief. It seems you and I didn't do anything either, Goku.  
GOKU: That's nice to hear. And you won't get pregnant!  
VIDEL: ::dies::  
GOKU: ::Smiles in that Goku way::

BULMA: I'll be right back. ::She goes to get examined::

Doctor:  Mrs. Briefs, it seems you didn't do that pig last night.

Bulma: Phew.

Doctor: But, it does indicate that you had intercourse last night.  ::Bulma pales::  Was there someone else in the room with you?

::Outside::

Trunks:  I wonder what's taking Mom so long in there?

  
BULMA: ::from inside the room:: WHHHAAAAAT, I DID HERCULE??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

GOTEN: I thought that was a soundproof door.  
TRUNKS: It is. Mom's just that loud.  
!-- (6:48:50 PM)--GOTEN: I wonder if our parents were twins seperated at birth.

!-- (6:49:23 PM)--CHICHI: Goten!  
GOTEN: ::cowers::  
GOTEN: ::Facevaults::  
BULMA: ::Comes out puking:: Vegeta....kill.....HERCULE! NOW!

Hercule: Uhhh, She made me do it…YEAH!  I didn't wanna do her at all!!!  
VEGETA: ::Gives Hercule a certain hand gesture and sends a Ki blast that tracks Hercule and fries him:: 

BULMA: Thanks sweetie ::gives him a kiss on the cheek:: Tee hee hee.  
VEGETA:  : ) ::They fly off::  
TRUNKS and BRA: UUUUUGH ::dies::

VIDEL: That just solved a lot of my problems.

KRILLIN: And some of ours!

TRUNKS: I'll go next. ::As he goes in, Pan and Supreme Kai come into the building::  
SHIN: Well, we KNOW what we did, we weren't drunk, heh heh heh. ::Kisses Pan's hand, showing off her wedding ring::  
PAN: ::Giggles:: Hey Goten, what's wrong?  
GOTEN: ::Deadpans:: I was on top.  
TRUNKS: ::Heard through 'soundproof' door:: WHAT! ::Several Ki blasts are heard::  
EVERYONE: ::Dies::  
GOKU: Well... at least no one's getting pregnant!  
TRUNKS: Oh no, I actually did Goten!  
GOTEN: I thought I did you.  
Everyone else: ::gag::  
TRUNKS: ::Dies::  
PICCOLO: ...I am not going in there.  
VIDEL: Well, Gohan is! ::Shoves him in::

  
GOHAN: Ok doc, give it to me straight.  
DOC: You did NOT sleep with that... green guy. Although from the state of his hips I would say you watched him do a striptease instead.  
GOHAN: ::Grabs at chest and gasps for air::  
DOC: ...I was just kidding.  
GOHAN: ::Breaths:: Dont DO that man! Give a guy a heart attack...

PICCOLO: Well it's your own fault, Gohan. You should have remembered I haven't even gone in there. ::Snickers::

 !-- (7:16:11 PM)--SHIN: ::whispers to Pan::.

Pan: ::snickers:: Hey, Bra, you go next.  
BRA: Oh gawwwwwd....  
  


DOC: Miss Briefs, like many of your friends, I see no indication of sexual intercourse from the past 24 hours.  
BRA: ::Squeels with joy::  
SHIN: So, North Kai, you still haven't gotten any in 17,000 years.  
KING KAI: Rrrrrrrrrrgh SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!

TRUNKS: ::Points at King Kai in laughs::  
MASTER ROSHI: Damn man, even I'VE gotten some in recent decades!  
BRA: ::Kicks King Kai in the groin:: That's what you get for being a pervert!  
PICCOLO: ::bursts out laughing::  
CHICHI: ::puts her hand over her mouth and tries not to laugh::  
GOKU: Chichi, that's not nice. ::They look at each other and start laughing.::

GOKU: Uhh... I'm just laughing WITH you King Kai!   
KKAI: Well at least I had her in bed!  
PICCOLO: So? I had Gohan in bed, and you see how much happened there... but I imagine Gohan at least took his clothes off willingly.  
EVERYONE sans GOHAN: ::Doubles over laughing::  
GOHAN: ::Sweatdrops, on one hand thinking it's funny, on the other ::thinking he doesn't want to remember::  
GOHAN: Uhhhhhhhhh this isn't funny you guys. ::everyone still laughs:: WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING FUN OF KING KAI, NOT ME!  
!-- (11:06:04 PM)--KAI: SHUT UP BOY! At least I got drunk with the opposite sex!  
::GOHAN, PICCOLO, TRUNKS, GOTEN: ::Dies::  
SHIN: ::Stuffs a tube sock in King Kai's mouth:: DO be quiet, North Kai, your abrasive voice is blotting out the laughter.  
KAI: mmfmmmffffmfmfmfmfmfmfmfmfmfmfffmffff  
GOTEN: Hey Trunks, he reminds me of that Kenny guy from South Park.  
TRUNKS: What is South Park?  
GOTEN: ...it's an American thing. You should visit sometime.  
::King Kai takes the sock out of his mouth::  
KAI: Here, you might need this later. ::Hands Goten some KY. EVERYONE: ::Dies::  
GOTEN: What's this for?

EVERYONE ::Dies again::  
TRUNKS: I am so never living this down...

SHIN: Nope.

PAN: Ok, I'm next. I haven't been feeling well all morning.  
::Pan goes into the Doc's office::  
GOHAN: ...why wouldn't she be feeling well if she didn't drink?  
EVERYONE: ::Facevaults::  
GOHAN: Supreme Kai, if you gave my little Panny ANY kind of disease.....  
SKAI: I am in perfect health, thank you.  
::Pan comes out::

PAN: Shin! We're gonna be Parents!  
SHIN: HUH?  
SHIN: ::Keels over::  
VIDEL: Gohan! We're gonna be GRANDPARENTS!

GOHAN: Oh gross.  
GOKU: Chichi, we're going to be GREAT gr-::King Kai whacks him with the sock:: Ow!  
KKAI: Will you shut up? We get the point!  
CHICHI: This. Will. Be. Interesting.  
SHIN: He'll be the Semi Supreme Kai.  
PAN: What if it's a girl?  
SHIN: Then SHE will be the Semi Supreme Kai.  
KKAI: Duh.  
GOKU: Lets see, it'll be part Kai, part Human, part Saiyan. That would be 1/2 Kai, uhhhhhhhh…  
GOHAN: Dad, don't overdo yourself with the fractions.  
GOKU: ::smiles:: ok!  
SHIN: Oh, and North Kai, my child will be your supervisor once s/he's at the appropriate age.  
KKAI: WHAAT???  
SHIN: Appropriate age.... 5 will be suitable.  
KKAI: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT???  
SHIN: Hmhmhmhmahahahaha  
KKAI: ::Dies::

TRUNKS: So, Pan, what is your last name now?  
PAN: Uhhhhhhhhhhh…  
SHIN: Uhhhhhhhh.  
VIDEL: Oh no. Gohan, our little girl doesn't even have a last name!  
KKAI: Oh good greif.  
GOHAN: Well, how 'bout Kai?  
PAN: Pan Kai. I like it, what about you, sweetheart?  
SHIN: That's fine by me.  
KKAI: My superior is going to be a frying-utensil kai?! Whyyyy? What did I ever do? Why me? First sex slips right through my fingers and now this!  
SHIN: That's my CHILD you're talking about.  
GOKU: ::Scratches head:: I think our kids got more action last night then we did in half our lives...  
SHIN: In MORE then half of North Kai's life, certainly.  
KAI: SHUT UP, SUPREME KAI! ::SKai stuffs another tube sock in King Kai's mouth::  
KKAI: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmphhhhhhhfffffff!  
SHIN: You stay like that.  
GOKU: Well, I've had enough excitement for one day, I'm going home. ::Goku and ChiChi fly off::  
TRUNKS: I am NOT going home. I'm going to Dende's.  
  
::Everyone goes home, but get together about 9 months later when Pan gives birth to the Semi Supreme Kai::  
KKAI: Must we be here?  
SHIN: I'mgoingtobeadaddyI'mgoingtobeadaddy.  
GOHAN: Dude, calm down. Even *I* wasn't this bad.  
VEGETA: I'm wondering how freakish this kid will look.  
SHIN: ::Smacks him::  
!-- (11:35:07 PM)--::The doc comes out::

DOC: Mr. Supreme Kai, you have a healthy baby girl.  
KKAI: A GIRL?! I"M GOING TO BE BOSSED AROUND BY A GIRL?!  
SHIN ::Nods:: Now, where's my little girl?   
::Doc takes Shin in::  
VEGETA: I STILL want to see what this kid looks like. When will they let us in?  
GOTEN: ::Looks around at everyone:: I don't think we'd all fit in there.

SHIN: ::comes out:: Her name is Semi Supreme Kai.  
BULMA: ::whispering:: What the hell kind of name is that?

KKAI: It's a STUPID name.  
SHIN: It's a fitting one. And she's beautiful. She looks just like her mother, with purple skin and white hair. Oh, she also has a tail.

THE SAIYINS: A tail? Cool!  
CHICHI: Why don't we give her a nickname.  
ALL: Good idea.

!-- (11:42:16 PM)--BULMA: I have one!  
SHIN: I don't even want to hear it. Knowing you, it'll be some sort of underwear.

GOKU: Let's combine Semi and Supreme. How about SeSu. ::everyone looks at him funny::

::Everyone thinks of a good nickname for Semi Supreme Kai::  
SHIN: Why don't you just call her Semi.  
EVERYONE: hey, not bad!  
VIDEL: I want to see my little granddaughter. ::goes into Pan's room::  
GOHAN: Hey, wait for me! ::Goes after::  
::Chichi and Goku tag along::  
PICCOLO: I'm staying here.

KRILLIN: I think 18 and I will wait to see the kid.  
VEGETA: I want to see what the brat looks like. ::goes off.::  
KRILLIN: ::Looks out the window:: Ahh how the families expand... oh hey, there's a full moon out tonight.  
KRILLIN: A FULL MOON! GUYS! ::Runs after::  
BULMA and PICCOLO: A FULL MOON!  
SHIN: What does that mean? ::ape sounds come from Pan's room::  
EVERYONE: ::Runs out screaming::  
VEGETA: THat means you mated with a Saiyan without doing your homework, all-mighty Kai idiot!  
SHIN: Not a problem ::stuns Semi:: There.  
::Gohan cuts off her tail::

EVERYONE: O_O ...hey, neato.  
GOHAN: Let's be careful when she regrows it shall we? ::Sweatdrops, tosses tail into the trash::  
SEMI: Gaagaaah. ::falls asleep in Shin's arms::  
EVERYONE: Awwwwwwwwwwwww.  
KKAI: she will definitly be a cute superior.  
::Semi grabs one of King Kai's antennae's::

KKAI: Aghhhhhhh! Leggo! Getitoffmegetitoffme!  
VEGETA: I think I like that brat.

SHIN: Hmhmhm, That's my girl. *ahem* I mean, let go of North Kai, his loserness might rub off on you.  
SEMI: Gaagaagoo! ::Let's go::  
GOKU: Awww, I gotta hold her next!  
::And so the Z fighters play Baby pass around.::  
  
EPILOGUE:  
KKAI: So yer just gonna cut off her tail all the time? Too bad she won't it to amuse her boyfriends with.  
TRUNKS: Well it's better then her turning into a raving monster once a month. Although, once she's a teenager, she'll be a raving monster once a month anyway…  
KKAI: Pfft, you're just pissed cause Goten never had one for YOU to play with.  
GOTEN & TRUNKS: ::Faceflop::  
VEGETA: What was that?!  
TRUNKS: ...if my father lets us live, that is one dead Kai.

CHICHI: I'm glad that we never have to think of that night again.  Lets put this behind us, agreed?

EVERYONE: Agreed.

Tien: Hey Yamcha, you have the pictures from that night?

Yamcha: Right here.  ::whips out photos of the various couples together:: ::Tien, Chaozu and Yamcha start laughing back and forth.  Master Roshi walks by to see what's so funny.::

Roshi: What do you boys have here? Hmm?  ::takes the pictures:: Oh my.  Heheheh. ::he smiles with his usual dirty old man grin::

18: I don't like the looks of this.  ::Tries to take the pictures.::

Roshi: ::sweatdrops:: Now, dear, this is men stuff.  ::18 coldly takes the pictures::

18: WHAT IS THIS??????? IT'S ME AND ROSHI! ::flips the picture:: it's ChiChi and Vegeta?  These are pictures of us!  ::The other Z fighters crowd around 18.::

Goku: Ok, someone has some explaining to do.  ::Vegeta, Goku, ChiChi, 18, and the others look at Yamcha, Tien, and Chaozu angrily.::

Yamcha: Ummmm uhhh hehehehehheh.  You see, we thought it would be funny to….uhhhh…

ChiChi: TO PUT ME IN BED WITH VEGETA!  WHAT KIND OF SICK IMMORAL PEOPLE ARE YOU???

Tien: We're sorry ChiChi.    

Chaozu: We didn't mean any harm.

ChiChi: I'LL SHOW YOU HARM ::she starts beating up Chaozu.::

Yamcha: Besides, we didn't pair all of you together.

Tien: Yeah, King Kai dragged Bra by her, ummm bra, ::Bra dies:: Goten and Trunks were half "with it" while we were setting up Goku and Videl, I have no clue why Bulma went with Hercule, but she did…

Yamcha: Or how Oolong's panties got on Hercule's head.

Tien: and we all know about the Supreme Kai and Pan.  

Goku: well, no harm done, I can forgive you guys.

Videl, Vegeta, Gohan, Piccolo: NO HARM DONE!  ::they smack Goku::

::Yamcha and Tien try to back away out of the confusion::

Videl: Oh NO you guys don't!  GET THEM!  ::Everyone runs after Yamcha and Tien, while Roshi stuffs the picture of himself and 18 in his pocket.::

Roshi: I owe those boys hee hee heeeee.  
  
  


Narrator: And so, the night 9 months ago has brought a cute new, life into the hearts of the Z fighters.  Luckily, she is the only outcome from a night of too much intrigue.  All of the Z fighters and their spouses have come out of this a little stronger, and a lot more intelligent.  Next time, they'll know not to drink more than one of Master Roshi's special margueritas.

End. :p 


End file.
